


In Moments Of Respite

by NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot



Series: A Watcher's Legacy [2]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/M, Past Child Abuse, Underage Slavery, Underage Watcher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-25 01:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17715860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot/pseuds/NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot
Summary: The Watcher recounts some of her life to Aloth, before they realize their shared commonality and the conversation takes a turn.





	In Moments Of Respite

**Author's Note:**

> Proceeding where my last story left off this is the discussion Loralai and Aloth had.  
> Several things have been changed which I mentioned in the comments of my last story "Someone To Remember Me...". Loralai is no longer from Old Vailia, she is from Aedyr due to my changing her profession in my second playthrough of the game(that was also mentioned in the comments of my last story, it's worth reading).  
> If you are someone who supports Iselmyr and Eder or just the two of them separately, this is not the fic for you and I recommend you look elsewhere because I will NOT tolerate hateful comments, just because I do not share your enjoyment of a certain companion.
> 
> I do NOT like Eder, too many things he does are just plan inappropriate where Iselmyr is concerned and he can never be redeemed in my eyes.

The midday sun beat down over Caed Nua as Loralai strolled through the hedge maze at the far end of her stronghold.

Moments of respite were few and far between since the day she chased Thaos to Twin Elms and had subsequently been caught up in gaining the favor of the locals, so taking a second to walk the length of her own grounds wasn’t something she’d had much time for, although she harbored an appreciation for the peace and quiet the maze offered. With this peace and quiet however also came the time for her mind to wander over past events and unresolved feelings that she even now didn’t care much for facing down; given her previous resolve to drop the idea of figuring them out entirely.

Loralai’s eyes adopted a faraway stare as she walked aimlessly through the hedges and recalled a time spent by a river, sitting on a log, with an elven wizard who had allowed her to unshackle the burdens she had carried all the way from across the sea.

**~**

_His face was contorted in a mixture of regret and empathy, “I had heard whisperings, of people you had dealings with make mention of your past but I…” His words halted for a moment as if he was recollecting them, “I never assumed you had been acquainted with Aedyr’s less…reputable hospitality.”_

_Loralai silently rubbed the crest of her right shoulder as if the memory of her life in chains brought back a pain she could gently ease away._

_Aloth grew slightly uneasy at her silence, “At least things are looking up for you now.” His voice was forcefully cheery as he sought to break the tension with his best attempt at optimism, “I mean you have Caed Nua, which might I say is an impressive feat in itself to restore, let alone removing the Adra Dragon that made a home at the foot of the giant statue.” His face visibly wrinkled at the memory of the dragon taking over the body of the hunter they had helped her obtain,_

_True; Loralai had gained many possessions along with her freedom, but what she gained, she lost in equal measure._

_Seeing as the goal of the conversation in the first place was to have even one person remember who she really was; it seemed unlikely that his attempt at lightening the air around them was going to fall on anything but deaf ears._

_Without looking back at him, and as if she hadn’t heard a word of what he had just said, she continued softly, “I was going to die that night I escaped.”_

_He almost didn’t dare to ask, as he cocked a brow at her in response, “What happened?”_

_“I had been caught trying to escape again.” Her voice was nonchalant as if she was discussing the weather, “I knew that he was going to kill me, especially since it was not my first or second attempt. It seemed inevitable that everything would end that night.”_

_“You…gave up?” He asked skeptically,_

_Everything he had witnessed so far never gave him cause to imagine her giving up, even when the path that lay in front of her seemed impossible._

_“My parents were devout Eothasians.” She began abruptly,_

_Aloth was slightly perplexed as to why she felt the need to bring up her faith but he allowed her the time to speak, so that the sudden revelation could shed light on its importance in the grand scheme of things._

_“They…always believed that no matter how dark our lives got the sun would shine on a bright dawn one day. I followed their religion and also worship Eothas as you know, but…” She trailed off,_

_“You didn’t believe that?” His head tilted to the side curiously,_

_“I wanted to believe it, but there comes a time when you’ve had enough, when the floggings, the sun and the endless hours of work beneath it are too much to bear anymore. The thoughts of fields and masters watching over you become a nightmare you’d do anything to wake up from. I was following in the footsteps of my parents before me and everything just seemed inevitable.”_

_“What changed?” His voice was low and hopeful,_

_The fact that she was here now clearly indicated a change in her acceptance of death._

_Loralai looked over at him with a smirk, revealing several pointed, white teeth, “Believe it or not it was the light glinting off the dagger he kept on his belt.” She looked back out over the river shifting her position slightly, a macabre contentment settling on her features, “As I stood there submissive as any master should expect of their slave, it caught my attention and seemed to lift the torpor that had taken hold of me. Foolishly he was alone and sought to deal with me personally which made everything so much easier. Before I knew it, his dagger was in my hand and the warmth of fresh blood on my fur was my next memory of that night.”_

_Hearing her tone shift into a twisted satisfaction; unnerved him. He had never seen her act cruelly, or otherwise violently to anyone. There were several instances of course where she had taken the lives of persons of note but he never found himself disagreeing with her judgment in those cases. Such an occasion was when she had subtly dealt with lord Harond after they had all been made aware of the truth surrounding the missing lady Aelys._

_“You killed a member of the Aedyran gentry?”_

_She wasn’t sure if he was impressed or horrified, or maybe even both._

_“I did.” She answered simply before continuing, “I seemed to be running on instinct as I checked to ensure I had indeed killed him before emptying his pockets of his gold and then tearing off into the night, never looking back. I escaped when I was fifteen and was on the run for the better half of a year, avoiding bounty hunters seeking to avenge their lost master. I can only thank the gods that I learned of the demand for settlers in the Dyrwood—a free palatinate at that. I boarded a ship with what little stolen coin I managed to obtain, and ended up here.”_

_His voice lowered in what could be interpreted as regret, “You were only fifteen when you escaped?” He shook his head as if it would rid his mind of the thought,_

_“Yes.” She answered coldly; her voice had now shifted from wicked glee into something else entirely, “Sixteen years old and now I have to deal with…all of…this.” She waved her left hand infront of her to emphasize her remark,_

_The air between them stilled as he processed the information she had shared. Loralai had made mention of her parents but never alluded to their deaths giving him the impression that they were both still alive on the farm she had escaped from. He was basing everything off his own assumptions but it seemed likely that she had left her parents behind that night. Whether she made an effort to get them out of that life as well, or if they were moved to a different estate after the former master’s death however, he did not know._

_With the information she provided about dodging bounty hunters that were sent after her, nevertheless strengthened his theory that she had been relieved of all opportunities to rescue her family._

_Either way, it seemed that the intense scowl that hung over her features was all he needed as an answer to make up his own mind._

_She eventually huffed out a laugh, “It wasn’t really much of an improvement in hindsight. I had taken ill on our journey to Gilded Vale, had my entire caravan slaughtered by Glanfathans who accused us of entering their ruins, had my soul awakened by Thaos, and found out there wasn’t any land available to me once I had made it to town.” She listed off her short-comings on her fingers,_

_“Things certainly haven’t been easy for you have they? Trying to find a new life outside of Aedyr, only to be met with one problem after another.” Aloth’s voice held a sympathetic undertone,_

_“We’re not that different, you and I.” Her voice was almost emotionless, as if she was merely stating the obvious,_

_He was unsettled by the conversation switching to himself; his own past wasn’t a bed of roses either._

_“The two of use fleeing Aedyr although for different reasons, only to have everything we expected turn upside down. Our newfound freedom guided by the hands of fate rather than our own choosing.” The annoyance in her voice was easy to detect,_

_He noted the obvious commonality they shared, “I must admit, I never thought I would find someone who wouldn’t judge me for my past, let alone share an experience with them. It’s been…comforting in a way, to not have to worry about hiding all the time, or worrying about the trouble Iselmyr could stir up in our group.” He paused in thought, “No one has reacted to her quite…how I had expected.”_

_Loralai seized the opportunity to stop talking about herself directly, which was never something she enjoyed and instead began focusing on his own trials, “I’m not sure how else anyone could react to learning about Iselmyr.” She looked him in the eyes, her face never once betraying that she believed anything else to be true,_

_“You and I both know how people treat those with awakened souls.” He breathed tiresomely, recalling a life of hiding the truth seemed to force the air from his lungs, “And since she usurped me whenever it suited her…until recently…you can imagine how much worse it got, in no small part to her temper and need to goad others on.” His brow spasmed temporarily as if he was having some kind of inner turmoil,_

_“I understand that ‘she’ was responsible for the death of those villagers outside the black hound when we first met but I don’t see how ‘you’ are responsible for that. I was right there when that animancer tried to draw Iselmyr out, I heard everything…especially the part where you wanted her gone above all else. She may indeed have saved you from your father but you never asked for this, so what right would I have to treat you any differently just because you have an awakened soul?” Her voice was genuine and sincere, a pleasant shift back to her usual disposition,_

_He didn’t know how to react to her words and his mouth opened and closed several times as he tried to string together a coherent response._

_“Your…view of my situation with Iselmyr is not one I ever expected to encounter. I knew you shared my opinion of her inconvenience when I first told you the truth about her, but I never thought it would go beyond that.”_

_Loralai seemed to act impulsively rather than stopping to think about what she was doing, as she placed a hand on his shoulder to reassure him, “You’re my friend Aloth. I care about you and your situation. I never want you to think that I’ll judge you or change the way I feel about you because of this.”_

_The implication in her own words was lost on her and he never gave it a second thought or even guessed that there was a hidden undertone to her inherently innocent declaration._

_He once again seemed lost for words, “I don’t know what to say Loralai…it means a lot to me.” His smile was all the answer she needed,_

_She removed her hand from his shoulder and placed it in her lap, her gaze following it, “I wish I could say the same for the rest of our group.”_

_Aloth let out a sigh, “They don’t seem to realize letting Iselmyr take over control of my body is an…unpleasant experience.”_

_Loralai’s brows furrowed and her voice was steady, “I never say anything when they bring her up since it’s not my place, but that doesn’t mean I don’t notice.”_

_“Kana wanted me to let Iselmyr teach him Hylspeak.” He rubbed his temples with his thumb and pointer finger,_

_“I’m honestly still surprised he wants to be anywhere near you after—” She trailed off before continuing very slowly, “You wanted to ‘slick his breaches’.”_

_Aloth’s face went a darker shade as he was reminded of Iselmyr’s reaction to meeting Kana, “Let’s not bring that up shall we.” His voice was hesitant and laced with a forced cheerfulness, “I’m still trying to get that memory out of my head.”_

_“It can’t be easy…to have them constantly asking you things about Iselmyr even though you haven’t made a show of hiding how much you despise your relationship with her. I feel as if they should be more understanding towards your situation. You’re the one who has to deal with what others think of you, how they treat you.” Her frown deepened, “I don’t think it’s fair that they treat you like something to be goggled at, like Iselmyr is some kind of parlor trick.”_

_He gives her a half-hearted smile of appreciation for his plight, “They usually give up after I make it clear I’m not going to call out Iselmyr, but Edér is particularly…persistent.”_

_Loralai balled her left hand into a fist so that Aloth wouldn’t notice, her nails biting into her skin, but the mention of Edér’s persistence in talking to Iselmyr was something that irritated her to no end, especially with how he reacted to Bellasege bringing her out. Loralai had used all of her self-control to avoid snapping at him for what he had said no matter how much she had wanted to._

_She drew in a deep breath and let it out before speaking again, “Iselmyr is not the owner of your body, nor will she ever be. No one has the right to ask you to give over control of ‘your’ body so that they can satiate their curiosity or their desire for her company.” She was very firm with her opinion to get her point across, that it was his life, not Iselmyr’s, “No one asked for the situation that you now find yourselves in but that doesn’t mean you have to allow your awakened soul to dictate who has the right to the same body.”_

_Loralai understood how the subject was complicated in nature since Iselmyr was just as much a victim as Aloth, but she couldn’t and wouldn’t ever agree to anyone telling him that she had as much right to use his body as he did. They were stuck with each other now, and there were admittedly certain advantages to the two of them getting along and making their respective lives easier but she could never see herself agreeing with the notion of sharing._

_Perhaps it was her own opinion on the matter that she was attempting to force onto him._

_Even so, she couldn’t help but note his agreement with her every time she said he needed to take charge over Iselmyr and control her._

_Aloth’s voice was undoubtedly grateful, “If only more people shared your view on her, things would be a lot easier.”_

_“If there’s one thing I have an abundance of experience with, it’s having your freedoms taken away from you by another person. You never have to fear my outlook changing.” She confessed, “If Edér is still trying to get you to let Iselmyr out, let me know and I’ll have a word with him. He’s already on thin ice after he offered to buy her a drink.”_

_Aloth’s expression changed to something unrecognizable as he answered, “I don’t think that will be necessary. After I suppressed her, he seemed to have backed off a bit, although why is anyone’s guess.”_

_“He’s not easy to understand that’s for sure.”_

_Hardly anything about Edér where Iselmyr was concerned made a lick of sense to her, and she wasn’t sure if she ever wanted it to._

_“I appreciate the gesture however Loralai, and your willingness to get involved on my behalf.”_

_She turned to him with a smile that was both warm and welcoming, “I want to help you as much as you’ll let me.” She began, “I also know what it’s like to be alone, so if there is anything I can assist you with be it big or small, you need only ask me.”_

_They both allowed a comfortable silence to pass between them. The last glimpse of the sun sneaking behind the mountainside in the distance, the glow of the camp and the fading pastel colors of dusk their last remaining source of light left in the day._

_Loralai finally broke the silence, “We should head back to camp before it gets any later, supper might also be nearly ready.” As if on cue, her stomach sounded in agreement,_

_He nodded, “Aye, I won’t be getting anymore reading done in this light.”_

_“I didn’t mean to distract you from your grimoire.” She said, as they both walked back to camp,_

_“Not at all.” Aloth’s voice was pleasantly cheerful again, “It was a welcome distraction.”_

Loralai’s senses had come back to her as she exited the hedge maze. She lifted a hand to shield her two-toned eyes from the sun as she looked up into the sky and breathed deeply, filling her lungs to capacity with the warm, crisp air before exhaling and looking over in the direction of Brighthollow. The hour was still early, but the prospect of unwinding in her room after a stroll through the grounds was too appealing to pass up.

She walked across the courtyard and entered the building, passing by the kitchen and the aromas that wafted from within. Ascending the stairs, she was greeted by none other than Aloth who was browsing through a row of books on a shelf in front of her room. She smiled sweetly at him and offered a courteous wave while pleasant memories of her time spent with him flashed by in her mind.  Entering her chambers and closing the door behind her, she strode across the room and flopped onto her bed, the air in her lungs being expelled abruptly as she did so.

Once she had comfortably positioned herself in the soft covers of the bed, her ears swiveled to catch any sounds of the elf shuffling outside and taking out and putting away books.

When she finally heard the familiar sound of a book being slid carefully back onto the shelf she smiled to herself and looked up at the roof. Her previous anxiety about her past as a slave had been thankfully put to rest. Aloth didn’t seem to care at all and instead seemed to be relieved that he had someone who could understand his position due to the similarity of her own. She found their friendship mattering more and more to her as time went on, even though she was already heavily sympathetic towards him.

In moments of respite such as this, it was easy to forget that she faced a great unknown.

It was an inevitability that would lift Waidwen’s Legacy and destroy the leader of the Leaden Key in the process but it still no doubt sought to claim an unfathomable price from her in return. She closed her eyes and let out an exhausted sigh. She almost welcomed the finale at this point, to put an end to her uncertainties, to so many unknowns. She half-opened her eyes to look towards the window, the sun still in the same position it was when she had exited the maze.

Tomorrow she would head back to Twin Elms with her party in tow and she would finally track Thaos down to what would understandably be their final resting place.

**Author's Note:**

> DO NOT POST SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS!!! I HAVE NOT PLAYED THE SECOND GAME SO DO NOT POST ANYTHING ABOUT THE GAME!!!


End file.
